When You Weren't Looking
by QuasiOuster
Summary: A few possible unseen moments from various scenes in Season 4.  Zane's POV.
1. A New World

**AN: I still don't own anything from Eureka. They're safe and sound with Syfy.**

**These are a few behind-the-scenes moments that I thought I'd play with. I've got about 4 in the pipeline so we'll see how it goes. They're all from Zane's POV and although this first one is short (the muse dug its heels in), the rest are somewhat longer, whether that's a good or bad thing. Hopefully, I'll get them all up this week but here's the first two to get things started. There's a little bit of potty mouth throughout but nothing too frequent or extreme. Enjoy and thanks for reading. ~Y~**

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Chapter One: A New World**

Another day, another run-in with that bitch Lupo. Well, technically it had been Carter who had thrown him in the slammer this time but it was Lupo he sent to make sure he was behaving himself. She must have lost a bet or something if she was babysitting him when Founder's Day activities were going on.

He was surprised she wasn't storming around micro-managing every goddamn step any of the GD scientists were taking. That was just her way. If he thought she was bad when she was still the town deputy, she became completely impossible once she got the job as GD's Enforcer under Director Fargo. She was constantly nosing around, practically willing things to bust him on. At one time he even entertained the notion that it was her repressed, passive aggressive way of showing interest in him. The best he could tell, she didn't date almost at all, or at least no one was talking about it. So why not him, given his vocal and enthusiastic appreciation for her assets?

A taser-burn in the ass relieved him of that notion.

Something had definitely been off with her today. First, she had on some old-fashioned uniform, presumably for Founder's Day. Like he could ever imagine her dressing up for anything. Well, he could certainly fantasize about her dressing up. In fact, long ago, he had sent her a few suggestions and an offer to provide up-close and personal feedback. That had gone over spectacularly.

Then there were her ridiculous attempts to punk him by spouting off some nonsense about marrying him. That had come out of left field as she hadn't used that tactic in forever. And usually when she had him locked up, she relished taunting him with snide comments and mild threats of hauling him back to prison. But she had just sat there silently for the longest time, stewing over something in that stupid, oversized uniform that swallowed all her best features. For the first time ever, she had seemed emotional about something, not her usual stoic, cold bitch front. Whatever. Not his problem.

She still had that look about her when he saw her again a while later. She was practically stomping down the street with Douglas Douchbag Fargo in tow, both of them looking uncharacteristically casual. And, of course, every time he saw her like that, with the tight-fitting jeans and soft, un-Enforcer-like colors, it hit him right in the groin. It was so annoying. He thought about going over to start something. That would no doubt make him feel better. But he had spent enough time in that jail cell today. And something about Lupo right now unnerved him.

It was probably best to lie low for a while and stay off the grid. Besides, he had more important things to think about - like the blonde Ph.D. heading his way with a most promising air of seduction about her. He smiled anticipating the evening to come. The doctors were definitely in.

TBC...


	2. The Story of O2

**AN: I know I'm skipping All the Rage but I've got other plans for that one...**

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**Chapter Two: The Story of O2**

He wanted to invite her to his place, but he convinced himself it would be too weird. And awkward. And people would talk.

As he spotted her across the street going into the Sheriff's office with duffle bag clutched tensely in hand, none of those things quelled his urge to ask. She looked defeated and he had NEVER seen her like that in the years that he had known her.

He didn't blame her given that her good friend Dr. Blake and that brown-nosing jerk Larry had inadvertently destroyed her home. He imagined that hurt a lot, especially someone like her. She wasn't exactly known for being a woman about town so she probably had things just the way she liked in that fortress of hers. But it was gone now. And it was just like her to prefer the town jail cell to asking for help or actually having to deal with people right now. He could understand that; it was an additional excuse he relied on to keep his distance.

The day seemed so surreal and long. Not only was his head pounding from the after-effects of the O2 but he had come awfully close to being sent back to prison. No doubt General Mansfield was steaming about that lost opportunity. And Jo sticking her neck out like that for him? Well, he didn't know what to do with that information. Instead, that feeling he sometimes got about her only got stronger, especially when she had said those things to him about being a different kind of guy. She was probably just messing around with him as usual, but what if … ?

No. Impossible. She was the uptight, enforcer and he was the resident bad-boy troublemaker. They had their roles to play.

Even as that thought ran its course, instead of turning around towards his apartment, he was walking in the direction of the light that was still on at the Sheriff's Office. The streets were quiet and it was like time was slowing down, or at least holding its breath waiting for something important to happen. What was he thinking? Almost every instinct was screaming that seeing her right now was likely to turn out really, really poorly. But then his mind called up an image of her smile from earlier in the day, for once directed towards him. And then there was that adorable, perplexed expression when he called her JoJo. That had kind of just slipped out but he didn't regret it even if Lupo hated it. It was like his own little pet name for her that he could torture her with; in a good natured way of course. He still owed her big-time.

Then he contrasted it with her frighteningly quiet exit from GD to oversee the fire crews at her house that was clearly destroyed beyond repair. Staring at her as she left the room, he was struck by how much he wanted to reassure her somehow. How bizarre was that given their history? One brief, but major, show of humanity and he was ready to go all BFF. He shook his head and laughed at the absurdity of it.

He didn't turn around though. In fact, now making his way to where she probably sat licking her wounds, he wanted to see that smile from her again. Maybe thanking her once more in private would help. It might even make his spare room seem more appealing tonight than the jail cot, though perhaps not as comfortable. He could say that with some authority given the many times he'd slept on that thing. It's the least he could do to pay her back for what she had done for him.

As he was about to cross the street, he saw a familiar vehicle pull into the open parking spot next to Jo's car and watched Sheriff Jack Carter climb out. He was looking curiously from his PDA to the lit office but didn't hesitate to unlock the door and investigate whatever was going on inside.

Zane stopped in his tracks. Well, there was no way he was going over there now. He stared at the closed door feeling more than a little conflicted. It was probably a good thing Carter showed up to keep him from looking like a fool. Or worse, to keep him from screwing up once again and getting on Lupo's bad side. He'd obviously done something to get her off his back and he wanted to keep it that way for a while. He put his hands in his pockets and shifted uneasily from one foot to the other, all the while wondering what, if anything, he should do at this point. He laughed at himself, knowing that he must be certifiable for not getting as far away from this situation as possible. Letting sleeping dogs lie was definitely for the best.

So this time, he did turn around and head back towards his apartment. Crisis averted.

He frowned wondering why Carter was back at all. He heard that the Sheriff was supposed to be in Cambridge visiting Zoe. Of course, that train of thought got him thinking about the young girl who he sometimes chatted with about physics and the newish freedom of college life. She clearly was developing a crush on him and he was nothing if not a serial flirter, even if it wasn't going anywhere. His continued attempts at taunting Lupo was proof of his extreme efforts at playing the charmer. But being the object of a young crush was cute actually and if she ever let on to her dad, it was sure to get under the Sheriff's skin in a most entertaining way. He'd definitely have to milk that. Perhaps he'd give Zoe a call when he got home.

When he reached the corner, he spared one last look towards the Sheriff's office and saw Carter and Lupo emerging from the double doors and locking up. Carter was carrying Jo's duffle bag and what looked like Jo's blazer. Jo was looking rumpled and very un-Lupo like with her shirt untucked and sleeves rolled up. Carter put her things in the back seat of her little blue car which caused her to playfully swat him in the arm over something. They both laughed lightly and then got into their respective vehicles to presumably drive over to their bunker, SARAH.

Zane's frown returned as he wondered if something was going on with them. After all, they had always been pretty close and it seemed that the last few weeks, they had been as thick as thieves. He always saw them hanging out at GD even though they hadn't worked together in ages. There was also the fact that Carter had just broken up with Tess Fontana which seemed bizarre too since he thought they were pretty into each other. That control-freak had sicked the Sheriff on him enough times to know that she had him wrapped around her finger at some point. God, he didn't miss her at all. Besides if Carter was going to rebound with anyone in Eureka, he thought it'd be Dr. Blake. Those two had been circling around each other for as long as he'd known them. Just friends, his ass.

He turned back around and shrugged. It wasn't his concern whatever was going on with them. If they wanted to get it on, more power to 'em. Forget about the fact that they were so not each other's type. Lupo definitely needed someone with more personality to shake up her structured little world. No one in town would take them seriously as a real couple. Plus, even if it wasn't serious, it would be weird for Zoe if her good friend hooked up with someone she was close to and it might even hurt her feelings. That's why he wouldn't ever seriously...

Then again, there was nothing wrong with having some harmless fun.

Besides, he could admit to being an insensitive jackass sometimes but even he realized Jo shouldn't be alone tonight. He must have been crazy to think it could be him to keep her company so Carter was as good a choice as the next guy for her.

The past five minutes proved to him that he was clearly more out of sorts than he thought. Home and sleep was a good plan. He quickened his steps and walked off into the quiet night.

TBC...


	3. Crossing Over

**Chapter Three: Crossing Over**

Still rolling his eyes, Zane followed Jo Lupo away from Fargo and his stupid welcome wagon. Was he for real with that? Who does that to get with a girl? He guessed he couldn't expect any better from the likes of him. Fargo made Napoleon Dynamite look like George Clooney, after all. It was extra annoying that Lupo made it seem as if the world was going to end just because he helped himself to a muffin before the raging crowd of one tiny little girl got a chance to partake. This town was so ridiculous sometimes.

Despite Lupo's attempts to starve him, he allowed himself a small moment of victory at the muffin he successfully swiped from under her nose. Blueberry. Standard but reliably delicious, especially coming from Vincent. It was still warm too.

Even after having been rudely ordered to Cafe Diem when he was right in the middle of something, he was in relatively good spirits. True, he had gotten a kick out of seeing Fargo looking so befuddled around a girl but laughing at Fargo was only a short-term form of entertainment and not worth the interruption today. It wasn't even clear why they had wanted him present in the first place. That Warehouse 13 chick was leaving with her stuff later in the day and he had only worked on the final part of that project anyway. Besides, after meeting her briefly, he thought she had some potential but there was room for just one smart-mouthed misfit in town and he had no interest in forming a club.

But bumming a ride with Lupo? Now that had turned out to be a pretty brilliant perk.

"That was, uh, interesting," he said laughing and taking a bite out of his muffin. Jo didn't comment but her grin told him that the Director's latest antics had entertained her as well. Despite Fargo's unprofessional description of her, which Zane thought was pretty spot on, it wasn't like the usual snits she could cook up when really pissed.

"'Sweetheart?' Really, Zane? We can't take you anywhere," she said, making fun of him as they approached her parking spot. She ducked into the car and he climbed in the passenger side so they could make their way back to GD.

"You jealous, Lupo? You shouldn't be." He inwardly cringed at the innuendo. He was trying to be good these days but old habits died hard.

Luckily, she only just sighed and ignored his comments but she did immediately slap his hand after he attempted to eat more of his muffin. "Not in my nice, clean car."

Being the kind of guy he was, he couldn't ignore her tendency smack him around lately. It might have bothered him more if he didn't also find it a little thrilling. Yet he refrained from making any more of his usual comments about a willingness to take a spanking or two as long as she was involved. Contrary to popular opinion, he wasn't a complete glutton for punishment when it came to her. Or maybe it was because although her tone was stern, it didn't hold the coldness that he had become used to since meeting her. He was still getting acquainted with her bizarre changes in mood the last few weeks.

Instead, he wrapped her offered napkin around his muffin and shook his head at her. "To answer your question, Lupo, you know full well that you can't take me anywhere. At this point, any high jinks are on you guys." She gave him an admonishing look and pulled out into the street towards GD. "You know it's true," he added, chuckling. Chatting with her absent the fear of a taser burn was kind of nice. He could get used to this new "thing" between them; whatever this "thing" was. Tolerated colleagues? Friends? Who knows? Just sit back and enjoy the ride, he figured.

They rode in silence with Jo confidently steering the car and Zane carefully cradling his muffin so as not to spill any crumbs. He was certain she wasn't above putting him out on the side of the road for defying a direct order not to dirty up her car. He released one hand to fiddle with her radio but she slapped his hand away again. More of the smacking him around! She was really asking for a smartass remark. But then she turned on the radio herself, selecting the same satellite radio station he usually listened to. Interesting. Talk about being full of surprises these days.

"Hey, how's your new house coming along?" he asked. He had overheard her talking to Dr. Monroe about submitting her plans the other day so he thought it was a safe enough subject for small talk.

"It's coming along," she replied, looking over at him curiously. Geez, can't a guy be courteous every once in a while?

He put on his best innocent expression and smiled. "I'm just asking to, you know, be nice or something. Making sure you're okay and everything." She didn't say anything which was kind of unnerving. "I mean, you had spent all day running around saving my ass. And then to lose all your stuff like that over some stupid race and another one of Larry's screw-ups. I hate that guy by the way."

He had meant to get at least a little shared amusement over their mutual dislike of Fargo's flunkie, but with each word, he saw Jo clutch the steering wheel a little tighter. After a few long moment, she finally loosened her grip and relaxed her tensed shoulders.

"Allison didn't help things either. But it was an accident," she responded with a practiced calm. He could tell from her tone that that must have been something she told herself over and over until she was ready to accept it. He didn't think he could be so forgiving. Actually, he knew he couldn't be. He'd punked people for less, that was for sure. And Jo had busted him enough times for it to prove the point.

"I just wish," she continued but then stopped.

He glanced at her as she seemed to be thinking something pretty deeply. He assumed she wouldn't finish the thought, realizing who she was talking to and all. It wasn't like they were buddies or anything to be discussing their deep thoughts. He kinda hoped she'd continue though. He was curious himself and it seemed important somehow. He'd be damned if he could explain it.

Finally she appeared to work up the nerve to reply. "I just wish I could have salvaged more things. I know they're just material items and I did have a lot of stuff stored in protective containers but it's the little things that you miss. A picture on your mantle or that really warm blanket by your couch; your favorite socks, that kind of thing. You know what I mean?" He nodded and then realizing she probably couldn't see him, he answered in the affirmative. If they were going to have a normal, human moment, he didn't want her to think he wasn't into it. He was way into it, in fact. He'd even conjured up a an image in his mind of her sitting by her fireplace in cute socks and wrapped in a warm blanket. Her hair was down, of course and maybe underneath that blanket she was wearing the red number he had bought for her with the ...

Down, Zane. So not going there right now. Especially not when she was sitting next to him looking (and smelling) kind of nice and being uncharacteristically open with him. He was extremely relieved that she wasn't privy to his seedy, gutter mind. She seemed none the wiser.

Instead, she paused again and sighed, seemingly lost in thought. "It's the few things your mom left you that you kept on your nightstand."

He felt a small pull towards her at the admission. He wasn't a heartless guy and could admit to being moved by that. He had looked out the window thinking of the family memories he had in his home and how it would really suck to lose them. And he adored his mom too. To lose her only connection must be tough.

"And," she said in a lighter tone, breaking him from his musings. "I think about some of the unexpected gifts I kept that I didn't even realize how much I'd miss until they were gone." He turned back to her slowly when he thought he sensed her eyes on him. She was wearing the faintest echo of contentment on her face and grasped at the necklace she had taken to wearing around her neck. It was a beautiful look on her, somehow.

Like the last time they had driven together like this, he once again got that feeling about her. The same one that set his expectations and fantasies on overdrive.

He still hadn't said a word, both because he didn't quite know what to say and also not wanting to ruin the moment with some immature, boneheaded quip that he couldn't help but spew when he was around her. She shook her head as if to clear her thoughts and focused even harder on the road. If there was more to her confession, she was going to keep it to herself.

"Of course, my gun collection is safe and sound, so don't go entertaining any ideas about getting out of line," she joked. Now joking around, he could do. He was a master at that.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he responded. "I promise you at least a few weeks of peace and quiet from me. I don't want you accusing me of being ungrateful." They briefly shared a chuckle and let the moment pass gently.

"How's living with Carter? I bet having S.A.R.A.H. around is pretty sweet." Actually, he thought it would be pretty weird for a variety of reasons but he wasn't about to say that out loud. What he did do was watch that pretty smile of hers brighten her face once more. What the hell was wrong with him? She's nice to him a couple of times and it's got him turning into a blithering sap. Not cool.

She told him that things were okay and that it was nice to have the company. But pretty much all he could focus on was that they were approaching GD and their ride was almost at an end. On the one hand, he had a crap-load of work to do. On the other hand, sitting in a car for seven minutes with just him and Jo was far from a waste of his time.

They pulled up to the complex and she flashed her ID at security before pulling through. "I'll drop you at the side entrance," she said pulling over to the far side of the building. That door had a direct pathway to the rotunda making it easier for him to get to his lab. Entering through the parking lot meant going through the underground storage and cargo areas which added a little more time to the commute.

Not fully understanding why he did it, he waved her off. "It's cool, I don't mind the walk. I should check in with the maintenance department anyway about moving the SkyCruiser. They're supposed to loan me that cool floating platform." He really didn't _need_ to talk to those guys just yet but as long as Lupo was going past there he may as well take advantage under the guise of bugging her a few minutes longer.

Jo shrugged and swerved the car towards the parking lot. "You done with that yet?" she asked sarcastically.

"Funny." He knew her game by now. It was not an innocent question at all. Or a rhetorical one. "It'll be done when it's done," he added, flashing her a knowing grin. With an answer like that, he could expect at least a dozen walk-bys from her today. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration but it would be at least five or six times for sure. It couldn't be a coincidence that she was lurking nearby every time he looked up from his work. Still, he'd have to remember to keep the door open so he could keep track of her.

She'd been after him for the past week and a half about his ETA. He couldn't be too mad about it since he had been the one to destroy the prototype, albeit through no fault of his own. She and Fargo were probably getting read the riot act from Mansfield, not that he gave a crap about Fargo taking some heat from the big guy. But Jo had helped him out so he could put in a little extra effort if it would get Mansfield off her back.

Before he knew it, she had pulled into her usual spot and they were ready to go their separate ways. Zane got out of the car and leaned against the roof in her direction. "Thanks for the lift." Finally able to dig into his cooling muffin, he took a healthy bite, making sure she saw how he wiped the few dropped crumbs from the hood of her car.

She raised an eyebrow at his provocation and fixed him with a classic Lupo glare. She was dangerous, that's for sure. But in the most appealing of ways he was happy these days to acknowledge. Plus, she was right to be suspicious of him. He did usually have a snarky remark to go along with any act of courtesy or kindness.

"You just remember your promise," she added. "I don't want to hear a peep from you."

"Scout's honor," he said saluting and flashing her a flirtatious grin. He just couldn't help himself. She rolled her eyes and walked off towards the closest security station on this side of the building. This time, he definitely didn't miss her matching grin as she turned away.

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Zane sat tapping his fingers against the desk, trying to decide for the hundredth time if he should do it or not.

Jo was out of surgery and recovering. She would be alright but would need a little time to heal from whatever it was that had happened to her. When he had first heard she was hurt, it had rattled him in a way that surprised him. He had even called in a favor for information with one of the nurses down there. Shane owed him one for setting him up with one of the scientists on his team and his was a relatively painless request. Besides, the guy just thought that he checking for how long Lupo would be out of his hair. And Zane let him continue to believe that, even if it made him look like a jerk. Whatever. People thought worse of him all the time, not that he cared what the geeks in this town had to say about him.

Shane couldn't tell him much about Jo's injuries; the details he provided were enough to indicate that it was serious. Whatever had happened, she was going to be pissed when she woke up. Whoever had caused it would be wise to make themselves scarce after she was released from the infirmary. But thankfully she was going to pull through. Lupo could be a major pain in the ass but he had to admit that things would be way more boring without her around.

His residual relief, however, was too disturbing to dwell on. So he had tried to go back to his work but she had stayed on his mind ever since.

The word was that she could have visitors soon, thus, his present dilemma. Would it be too weird for him to stop by and see how she was doing? He could use it as an excuse to assure her that he had nothing to do with whatever it was that busted her up. If he got to assure himself that she was fine at the same time then all the better. And since the mailroom was sort of on the way, perhaps he could go see if her favorite magazine had come in so she'd have something to pass the time. After all, a bored Lupo might mean more grief for him if she started checking up on him around the clock. He hated that.

Well, maybe it was more like the infirmary was pretty close to his lab and the mailroom was all the way on the other side of the complex. But he could use the stroll to think things through. That decided, he grabbed his PDA and headed out the door.

How quickly the day could change. He had been hard at work and couldn't believe how much progress he'd made on the SkyCruiser. If he could keep up this pace without any major interruptions, he'd be done by the end of the week. Then he'd have Fargo and Mansfield off his back finally, at least for a little while. Fargo had hinted at another high-level project he wanted Zane on but he knew better than to trust that little weasel about anything. Still, he had enjoyed this last project and didn't want to sabotage things if it meant another cool prototype to play with. It also meant no getting involved in any potentially weird experiments that blew stuff up or turned people into zombies and the like. That's why he had wanted nothing to do with the trees currently growing through the building. For once, it didn't seem to warrant any of his particular skill sets and he had been left in peace to finish his work.

So he had been sitting there minding his business when his lab tech, Diego, comes strolling in from picking up lunch. He hadn't gotten one bite into his egg salad sandwich when Diego dropped the bomb about Jo's accident. Apparently, she had been talking with that Charles Grant guy which automatically irked him. He didn't know the new scientist that well but something was definitely fishy about him. He couldn't place it but he acted like the usual garden-variety tool that thought he was way cooler than he actually was. He seemed to be in good with Henry, Fargo and Jo, not to mention his lame attempts to get some action with Dr. Blake. Seriously? Was anybody buying that?

But when Diego finished explaining what he saw, ending with Jo unconscious without any explanation, he pushed his sandwich away feeling sick to his stomach. He never did finish lunch.

Visiting her was a good idea, he rationalized as he walked through the crowded hallways. He'd keep her from suspecting him before she even had a chance to go there. And maybe he'd earn a brownie point or two in the process. Besides, if she was going to check up on him like a million times a day, then he was going to mix it up and check up on her.

So she wanted to play passive aggressive? Well, he'd show her.

TBC...

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**AN: I wish there was an explanation for how this got so long. Sorry about that. it just happened. I'm going to try to get the last segment up soon!**


	4. Momstrosity

**Chapter Four: Momstrosity**

Zane was plugging away at the strange code running amok all over GD when he heard the familiar clip of Jo Lupo's shoes coming towards him. She had left a while ago to handle something with Deputy Andy and although it was usually more amusing when she was around these days, having her gone did help him focus better. Dr. Blake was out checking on the other glitches in GD's systems but had only checked in once, unlike Fargo who probably would have been all over his case by now. She told him that he seemed on top of things and could handle the investigation from his end. She was fine getting out of his way to let him do what he needed to do. He could get used to having her in charge.

But thinking again about Jo, he was really starting to enjoy their playful antagonisms. Dare he call them flirtations? No, it wasn't at that level yet but the potential was certainly there. He'd break her down eventually and then the real fun would begin. He saw her quickly approaching in the reflection of his console and was quick to hide his amusement before she arrived.

The object of his thoughts stepped up beside him and stopped a bit closer than he would have expected her to. One shift of his chair and his shoulders just might brush up against that very squeezable and almost irresistible … Well, best to not think about that right now when he was trying to concentrate. He really was entrenched in examining this code, but he wouldn't mind having Lupo all to himself for a few minutes.

"Hey there Mr. Donovan," came Deputy Andy's cheerful voice.

So much for getting Jo to himself. However, he didn't mind Andy much. He was an amazing marvel of technology and he certainly didn't hassle him as much as Carter and Lupo.

"How's it going, Deputy? I see you've returned Lupo to us in one piece." He spared a quick look in their direction but then became distracted again by an interesting string of data that might lead him to something useful.

"Oh, if it were up to me, I'd keep her all to myself," Andy replied. Jo snorted in disgust which brought Zane's attention from his task to the woman and the robot standing next to him. That response was rather unacceptable first because that was his own train of thought and belonged to him and also because it clearly pissed off an already annoyed Chief of Security. In fact, on the Jo Lupo annoyance meter, she was at about an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10. He should know; he was quite familiar with the variations of her moods.

Andy looked his usual, chipper self. When Zane examined him a little longer though, he could see the deputy's attention was focused on Jo in a way that didn't sit quite right with him.

Per usual, Jo got right to the point. "Zane, I think I might have stumbled on some insight into this situation. Vincent's A.I. is acting really weird and so is Andy. I'm wondering if this glitch is something that's targeting A.I.'s or whatever programming is unique just to those technologies." Now was certainly not the time to dwell on it, but he loved it when she talked tech.

"Weird like how?" he asked, not letting on how truly hot her question really was.

Deputy Andy gave Jo a few lingering pats on the shoulder to which she jerked away and into as much of his work space as decorum allowed. Her sudden movement brought her in full contact with him which he wasn't going to complain about. It was almost as if she were seeking his protection. Almost. This was still Jo Lupo he was dealing with. But now he knew something was definitely up.

"Jo, I don't tell you enough that I value you as a person and a fellow law enforcement officer. Brains and beauty! That's a combination any fella would be happy to have." Jo rolled her eyes at Andy's declaration while Zane could only stare at him dumbfounded. He had no words.

Jo turned to him in annoyance and gestured towards her robot replacement. "Weird like that."

Not that Zane disagreed with Andy's unsolicited opinion, especially in relation to Jo. But seriously, what the hell? There were plenty of jokes he could make over the situation but his disturbance over Andy's lame come-on prevented him from jumping on any of them. Jo was about to go supernova which didn't bode well for anyone, much less him. And Andy was making dudes look bad in general. That was no okay.

Jo took his silence as an opportunity to make a hasty exit. "Could you run a diagnostic on him and see if there's any connection to the other glitches in GD? I'm going to go find Allison and fill her in." She sighed heavily and headed towards the exit, making sure not to spare Andy any glances he could take as encouragement. When the deputy moved to follow her, she shot him a deadly glare and pointed to the seat behind him. "Stay put, Romeo."

"Okey-doke," he replied and waved goodbye to her. "Romeo, eh?" he said turning to Zane. "I'd say she's warming up to me, don't you think?" He winked and continued to display that eerie smile of his.

Still slightly in shock, Zane turned towards the deputy and eyed him skeptically before grabbing his portable scanner. "So, Andy, you and Lupo?"

"She sure is something else, isn't she?" he answered enthusiastically. "I could just watch her for hours." He raised his hand up to interface with Zane's device. "I could _actually_ watch her for hours, you know. My self-charging battery means that I can stay up and running for weeks if I have to." Zane was doing his best to concentrate on his readings while also trying to figure out what level of the Twilight Zone he had fallen into. Andy turned to Zane, a serious expression disrupting his usual cheerful grin. "Do you think if I reminded her of that she'd be more receptive? My unique build and programming parameters dictate that I could go at anything, and I mean anything, all night if that- "

"You know what? Why don't you not tell her that," he offered, cutting Andy off abruptly. He had heard some rumors about Jo dating someone who turned out to be a robot but he was pretty sure that had been an accident of sorts. She seemed to want nothing to do with Andy's affections and truth be told, he didn't blame her for being seriously creeped out.

"Too soon, right? Wow, I've got so much to learn in the romance department. How am I looking there?" he asked pointing at the beeping device.

He glanced warily at Andy and transferred the data to his station console. "Well, you've definitely caught what's going around. That probably explains, uh ... things."

"If you say so," he replied. "Hey! You're known as a bit of a ladies' man. Maybe you can give me some advice on wooing my fair paramour. I tried poetry but I think maybe she'd prefer a small pet of some kind."

Zane shook his head at the absurdity of any robot asking him for dating tips much less the artificial deputy asking how to score some action with the most uptight, frigid woman in town. Besides, if he had insight into how to get into Jo Lupo's pants, he'd be using it to actually get into said pants. And Andy could bet his robotic ass that he sure as hell wouldn't be sharing with any horny, program-corrupted A.I.s.

"I don't think I can help you, Andy. At least I can't help you beyond suggesting you tone it down and prepare yourself for disappointment."

"Oh, don't be so negative, Mr. Donovan! Don't you believe in the power of love?"

"Sure, but when it comes to Jo Lupo, it's best to put your faith in the power of her taser setting." He continued to type furiously as he connected the new information from Andy to the algorithms he was running on GD's systems.

"I've got it!" Andy said ignoring Zane's warning. "The Nevada Gun Show is in July! I can see it now. Me. Her. A long, romantic road trip where we can be alone and I can help her engage in her most beloved passion." He stared off dreamily as if his vast computer brain were calculating all of the scintillating scenarios he could create with Jo. It was highly disturbing to Zane. "Do you think she likes erotic massage?"

"Alright, Cassanova," Zane said, turning from his console. "This is getting out of hand." Not that Andy's suggestion was a bad one; Zane had already filed it away for future consideration. But enough was enough.

"Look, Andy. I think you're okay so I'm going to help you out." Andy brought his focus back to the scientist and anxiously awaited his wisdom. "Now, listen to me carefully. I want to make sure you understand and if you have any questions, just feel free to ask."

"Affirmative!"

Zane took a deep breath so he could break this down as neatly as possible. He looked directly into Andy's synthetic face and the robot leaned in so that he could focus on every word he was about to hear.

"Jo Lupo will find several ways to kill you slowly if you so much as breathe on her the wrong way. If you'd like to keep all of your artificial parts intact, I suggest you cease and desist." He then turned back to his console and resumed his study of the data in front of him. He hadn't consciously meant to, but his advice ended up sounding like a personal threat from him. He had no doubt that Jo would dismantle the robot if he pushed her too far and, given Andy's unwillingness to take no for an answer, Zane could easily be persuaded to get on board as well. There was wooing and then there was stalking and assaulting. Zane was adamantly against the latter and jerks who overstepped their bounds.

Andy looked at him quizzically and appeared to be saddened by the lack of encouragement in Zane's words. "Besides," Zane said with a more upbeat tone. "What happened to playing hard to get? Chicks love that."

Andy tilted his head a if a new revelation had occurred to him and his brilliant smile returned. "Oh, I get it, Mr. Donovan. You're such a kidder. But don't worry, I'll think of something to impress her. I won't let you down."

Zane shook his head in disgust and continued working at his console. "Forget it. It's your funeral." Andy waved him off good naturedly and resumed his internal planning.

A new set of clicks entered the room and he turned around to see Dr. Blake come in while reviewing a scrolling list of projects on her tablet. "Hey there, Dr. Blake!" Andy greeted. "Is Jo with you by chance?" Allison stopped in her tracks and examined the robot carefully before chuckling and heading to the adjoining console.

"Jo told me something was wrong with you. I guess I had to see it to believe it. Zane, I'm sending you an updated list."

"Got it," he responded, cross-referencing the new program specs with his current findings.

Andy turned in his chair to address Allison again. "I asked Jo if love could ever be wrong but she didn't provide an answer to that particular query. Perhaps it would be better asked in song form?" He cleared his throat and took a deep inhale in preparation.

"Try it and you're toast, Tin Man," Jo grunted. "I'm writing all of you perverted robots up when this is over. What did you find, Zane?"

To Zane's delight, she returned to her spot squarely within his personal space. She had her hand placed on the back of his chair with her other arm only inches from where he typed. She was leaning in to see what he and Allison were looking at and this time, some part of her body did make actual contact with his.

Definitely distracting. But he wasn't going to get all pervy on her. Andy was doing a good enough job in that department already.

He continued to study the scrolling code on his screen and while he gave them an update, a movement from Andy's direction caught his attention. Without warning, Andy had trailed his hand down Jo's arm in a sensual caress - or what he no doubt had hoped to be a sensual caress but looked more like shameless groping. He clinched his fist involuntarily seeing Andy's molestation but when Jo forcefully pushed his chair away with her foot and went about her business, he knew she had it covered. If he was feeling generous later, he'd give Andy a pointer that the rapey vibe was not the best way to win over the ladies. But right now they had more important things to worry about.

Much later, after discovering that S.A.R.A.H. slipped Andy an EMO download, he figured the rapey vibe might have been somehow contagious. Leaving the two A.I.s to each other was probably the best solution anyone could have devised.

Everyone was a winner - love prevailed, he made a new friend in law enforcement who owed him one, they found that renegade Titan Rover before she could kill anyone (barely) and he no longer had to worry about amorous robots stealing Jo away when his back was turned.

Not that he worried much since she could take care of herself. And not that it was really stealing or that he cared that much who she spent her free time time with. Really, he couldn't care less. But still, they had some quality flirting to work up to and he wasn't going to let those plans get disrupted.

Not bad for a day's work. Now he had a gun show to go research.

TBC...


End file.
